{"id":3377,"date":"2026-06-21T22:23:04","date_gmt":"2026-06-21T13:23:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hypnospark.com\/english\/?post_type=podcast_episode&#038;p=3377"},"modified":"2026-06-21T22:23:06","modified_gmt":"2026-06-21T13:23:06","slug":"fear-of-rejection-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"podcast_episode","link":"https:\/\/hypnospark.com\/english\/podcast_episode\/fear-of-rejection-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Virginia Unrequited Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-columns alignfull stk-block-columns stk-block stk-a2c9abb stk-block-background stk--has-background-overlay\" data-block-id=\"a2c9abb\"><style>.stk-a2c9abb {background-color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;background-image:url(https:\/\/hypnospark.com\/english\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/rays-of-light-village.webp) !important;min-height:400px !important;align-items:center !important;display:flex !important;}.stk-a2c9abb:before{background-color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;opacity:0.5 !important;}<\/style><div class=\"stk-row stk-inner-blocks stk-block-content stk-content-align stk-a2c9abb-column alignfull\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-column stk-block-column stk-column stk-block stk-0966db8 stk-block-background\" data-v=\"4\" data-block-id=\"0966db8\"><style>.stk-0966db8 {background-color:#ffffff73 !important;}.stk-0966db8:before{background-color:#ffffff73 !important;}<\/style><div class=\"stk-column-wrapper stk-block-column__content stk-container stk-0966db8-container stk--no-background stk--no-padding\"><div class=\"stk-block-content stk-inner-blocks stk-0966db8-inner-blocks\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-heading stk-block-heading stk-block-heading--v2 stk-block stk-3d87f20\" id=\"unrequited-love-br-from-bereft-to-balanced\" data-block-id=\"3d87f20\"><style>.stk-3d87f20 .stk-block-heading__text{color:var(--stk-global-color-12964, #7b3731) !important;letter-spacing:1px !important;}<\/style><h1 class=\"stk-block-heading__text has-text-color has-text-align-center\">Unrequited Love: <br>From Bereft to Balanced<\/h1><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-button-group stk-block-button-group stk-block stk-dac1ec1\" data-block-id=\"dac1ec1\"><div class=\"stk-row stk-inner-blocks has-text-align-center stk-block-content stk-button-group\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-button stk-block-button stk-block stk-5f9d68f\" data-block-id=\"5f9d68f\"><style>.stk-5f9d68f .stk-button{background:var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33) !important;}.stk-5f9d68f .stk-button:hover:after{background:var(--stk-global-color-12964, #7b3731) !important;opacity:1 !important;}.stk-5f9d68f .stk-button__inner-text{color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;font-weight:bold !important;}.stk-5f9d68f .stk-button:hover .stk-button__inner-text{color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;}<\/style><a class=\"stk-link stk-button stk--hover-effect-darken\" href=\"#episode-player\"><span class=\"has-text-color stk-button__inner-text\">Listen to Virginia&#8217;s Story<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-heading stk-block-heading stk-block-heading--v2 stk-block stk-f811b6a\" id=\"span-style-color-var-stk-global-color-3756-d-25-c-33-class-stk-highlight-description-span\" data-block-id=\"f811b6a\"><style>.stk-f811b6a .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.602rem !important;color:var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33) !important;line-height:1.5em !important;font-weight:600 !important;font-family:\"DM Serif Display\", Sans-serif !important;letter-spacing:1px !important;}@media screen and (max-width:999px){.stk-f811b6a .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.4rem !important;line-height:1.4em !important;}}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-f811b6a .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.2rem !important;}}<\/style><h3 class=\"stk-block-heading__text has-text-color has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"color: var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33);\" class=\"stk-highlight\">Description:<\/span><\/h3><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-text stk-block-text stk-block stk-a4e9e7d\" data-block-id=\"a4e9e7d\"><style>.stk-a4e9e7d {margin-bottom:25px !important;}.stk-a4e9e7d .stk-block-text__text{font-size:1rem !important;line-height:1.5em !important;font-family:\"Inter\", Sans-serif !important;}@media screen and (max-width:999px){.stk-a4e9e7d {margin-bottom:36px !important;}.stk-a4e9e7d .stk-block-text__text{font-size:0.937rem !important;line-height:1.4em !important;}}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-a4e9e7d {margin-bottom:29px !important;}.stk-a4e9e7d .stk-block-text__text{font-size:0.875rem !important;}}<\/style><p class=\"stk-block-text__text\">Virginia Dartagnan finds out that the man she\u2019s in love with doesn\u2019t reciprocate her feelings. She\u2019s devastated because she has put all of her hopes onto a fantasy about their future together. Listen in to hear hosts Makiko and Karisha discuss how some people have a delayed reaction to the suggestions they receive in hypnosis. They also explain why the loss of a relationship can be as painful as any other type of bereavement.<\/p><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-heading stk-block-heading stk-block-heading--v2 stk-block stk-e782662\" id=\"span-style-color-var-stk-global-color-3756-d-25-c-33-class-stk-highlight-key-takeaways-span\" data-block-id=\"e782662\"><style>.stk-e782662 .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.602rem !important;font-weight:bold !important;}@media screen and (max-width:999px){.stk-e782662 .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.4rem !important;}}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-e782662 .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.2rem !important;}}<\/style><h3 class=\"stk-block-heading__text has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"color: var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33);\" class=\"stk-highlight\">Key Takeaways<\/span><\/h3><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-icon-list stk-block-icon-list stk-block stk-7a8a8f9\" data-block-id=\"7a8a8f9\"><style>.stk-7a8a8f9 {--stk-icon-list-row-gap:12px !important;--stk-icon-list-marker-color:var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33) !important;margin-bottom:50px !important;}.stk-7a8a8f9:hover{--stk-icon-list-marker-color:var(--stk-global-color-12964, #7b3731) !important;}.stk-7a8a8f9 .stk-block-icon-list-item__content{align-items:baseline !important;}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-7a8a8f9 {margin-bottom:31px !important;}}<\/style><svg style=\"display:none\"><defs><g id=\"stk-icon-list__icon-svg-def-7a8a8f9\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 384 512\"><path d=\"M297.2 248.9C311.6 228.3 320 203.2 320 176c0-70.7-57.3-128-128-128S64 105.3 64 176c0 27.2 8.4 52.3 22.8 72.9c3.7 5.3 8.1 11.3 12.8 17.7l0 0c12.9 17.7 28.3 38.9 39.8 59.8c10.4 19 15.7 38.8 18.3 57.5H109c-2.2-12-5.9-23.7-11.8-34.5c-9.9-18-22.2-34.9-34.5-51.8l0 0 0 0c-5.2-7.1-10.4-14.2-15.4-21.4C27.6 247.9 16 213.3 16 176C16 78.8 94.8 0 192 0s176 78.8 176 176c0 37.3-11.6 71.9-31.4 100.3c-5 7.2-10.2 14.3-15.4 21.4l0 0 0 0c-12.3 16.8-24.6 33.7-34.5 51.8c-5.9 10.8-9.6 22.5-11.8 34.5H226.4c2.6-18.7 7.9-38.6 18.3-57.5c11.5-20.9 26.9-42.1 39.8-59.8l0 0 0 0 0 0c4.7-6.4 9-12.4 12.7-17.7zM192 128c-26.5 0-48 21.5-48 48c0 8.8-7.2 16-16 16s-16-7.2-16-16c0-44.2 35.8-80 80-80c8.8 0 16 7.2 16 16s-7.2 16-16 16zm0 384c-44.2 0-80-35.8-80-80V416H272v16c0 44.2-35.8 80-80 80z\"\/><\/svg><\/g><\/defs><\/svg><ul class=\"stk-block-icon-list__ul stk-block-icon-list--column\">\n<li class=\"wp-block-stackable-icon-list-item stk-block-icon-list-item stk-block stk-2c07c5a\" data-block-id=\"2c07c5a\"><div class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__content\"><span class=\"stk--svg-wrapper\"><div class=\"stk--inner-svg\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" width=\"32\" height=\"32\"><use xlink:href=\"#stk-icon-list__icon-svg-def-7a8a8f9\"><\/use><\/svg><\/div><\/span><span class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__text\">Your mind can spin a single comment into a story of rejection before you even realize it\u2019s happening<\/span><\/div><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"wp-block-stackable-icon-list-item stk-block-icon-list-item stk-block stk-2c8932c\" data-block-id=\"2c8932c\"><div class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__content\"><span class=\"stk--svg-wrapper\"><div class=\"stk--inner-svg\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" width=\"32\" height=\"32\"><use xlink:href=\"#stk-icon-list__icon-svg-def-7a8a8f9\"><\/use><\/svg><\/div><\/span><span class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__text\">Sometimes the person you trust most to give advice is the last one you can talk to<\/span><\/div><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"wp-block-stackable-icon-list-item stk-block-icon-list-item stk-block stk-2e38ef5\" data-block-id=\"2e38ef5\"><div class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__content\"><span class=\"stk--svg-wrapper\"><div class=\"stk--inner-svg\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" width=\"32\" height=\"32\"><use xlink:href=\"#stk-icon-list__icon-svg-def-7a8a8f9\"><\/use><\/svg><\/div><\/span><span class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__text\">Choosing to stay in a relationship that hurts you can feel safer than risking rejection.<\/span><\/div><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"wp-block-stackable-icon-list-item stk-block-icon-list-item stk-block stk-94e84f0\" data-block-id=\"94e84f0\"><div class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__content\"><span class=\"stk--svg-wrapper\"><div class=\"stk--inner-svg\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" width=\"32\" height=\"32\"><use xlink:href=\"#stk-icon-list__icon-svg-def-7a8a8f9\"><\/use><\/svg><\/div><\/span><span class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__text\">Grief from past losses can quietly shape how you handle disappointment today\u3002<\/span><\/div><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"wp-block-stackable-icon-list-item stk-block-icon-list-item stk-block stk-fbd4bbe\" data-block-id=\"fbd4bbe\"><div class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__content\"><span class=\"stk--svg-wrapper\"><div class=\"stk--inner-svg\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" width=\"32\" height=\"32\"><use xlink:href=\"#stk-icon-list__icon-svg-def-7a8a8f9\"><\/use><\/svg><\/div><\/span><span class=\"stk-block-icon-list-item__text\">When emotions cloud your judgment, there is a way to see your situation more clearly and feel at peace with whatever you decide.<\/span><\/div><\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-columns stk-block-columns stk-block stk-174834a stk-block-background\" id=\"episode-player\" data-block-id=\"174834a\"><style>.stk-174834a {background-color:#44546959 !important;border-top-left-radius:12px !important;border-top-right-radius:12px !important;border-bottom-right-radius:12px !important;border-bottom-left-radius:12px !important;overflow:hidden !important;padding-top:15px !important;padding-right:15px !important;padding-bottom:15px !important;padding-left:15px !important;}.stk-174834a:before{background-color:#44546959 !important;}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-174834a {padding-top:10px !important;padding-right:10px !important;padding-bottom:10px !important;padding-left:10px !important;}}<\/style><div class=\"stk-row stk-inner-blocks stk-block-content stk-content-align stk-174834a-column\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-column stk-block-column stk-column stk-block stk-b735445\" data-v=\"4\" data-block-id=\"b735445\"><div class=\"stk-column-wrapper stk-block-column__content stk-container stk-b735445-container stk--no-background stk--no-padding\"><div class=\"stk-block-content stk-inner-blocks stk-b735445-inner-blocks\">\n<iframe data-testid=\"embed-iframe\" style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/4PhKTmXohjHmWNuuQccLyF?utm_source=generator&#038;si=36997f413df14862\" width=\"100%\" height=\"152\" frameBorder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/iframe>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"text-align: right;\">\n<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/rays-of-light\/id1812803914?itscg=30200&#038;itsct=podcast_box_badge&#038;ls=1&#038;mttnsubad=1812803914\" style=\"display: inline-block;\">\n    <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/toolbox.marketingtools.apple.com\/api\/v2\/badges\/listen-on-apple-podcasts\/badge-26\/en-us\" alt=\"Listen on Apple Podcasts\" style=\"width: 130px; height: 41px; vertical-align: middle; object-fit: contain;\" \/>\n<\/a>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-spacer stk-block-spacer stk--no-padding stk-block stk-9d56417\" data-block-id=\"9d56417\"><style>@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-9d56417 {height:25px !important;}}<\/style><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-columns alignwide stk-block-columns stk-block stk-121ee28 stk-block-background\" data-block-id=\"121ee28\" data-block-type=\"core\" data-block-type=\"core\"><style>.stk-121ee28 {background-color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;padding-top:16px !important;padding-right:16px !important;padding-bottom:16px !important;padding-left:16px !important;}.stk-121ee28:before{background-color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;}<\/style><div class=\"stk-row stk-inner-blocks stk-block-content stk-content-align stk-121ee28-column alignwide\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-column stk-block-column stk-column stk-block stk-488c70f\" data-v=\"4\" data-block-id=\"488c70f\"><div class=\"stk-column-wrapper stk-block-column__content stk-container stk-488c70f-container stk--no-background stk--no-padding\"><div class=\"stk-block-content stk-inner-blocks stk-488c70f-inner-blocks\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-text stk-block-text stk-block stk-eedaa64\" data-block-id=\"eedaa64\"><style>.stk-eedaa64 .stk-block-text__text{color:var(--stk-global-color-12964, #7b3731) !important;}<\/style><p class=\"stk-block-text__text has-text-color has-text-align-center\">Each episode of Rays of Light takes place in the fictional village of Sunnyside.<br>Would you like to support our show? Why, thank you! <br>You can subscribe to our newsletter right here, so you won&#8217;t miss a single episode.<\/p><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-button-group stk-block-button-group stk-block stk-fede60c\" data-block-id=\"fede60c\"><div class=\"stk-row stk-inner-blocks has-text-align-center stk-block-content stk-button-group\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-button stk-block-button has-text-align-center stk-block stk-95dbde3\" data-block-id=\"95dbde3\"><style>.stk-95dbde3 .stk-button{background:var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33) !important;}.stk-95dbde3 .stk-button:hover:after{background:var(--stk-global-color-12964, #7b3731) !important;opacity:1 !important;}.stk-95dbde3 .stk-button__inner-text{color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;font-weight:bold !important;}.stk-95dbde3 .stk-button:hover .stk-button__inner-text{color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;}<\/style><a class=\"stk-link stk-button stk--hover-effect-darken\" href=\"https:\/\/app.popt.in\/api\/display\/click\/33d6871eea006\"><span class=\"has-text-color stk-button__inner-text\">Don&#8217;t Miss an Episode<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-spacer stk-block-spacer stk--no-padding stk-block stk-7c8f3ed\" data-block-id=\"7c8f3ed\"><style>@media screen and (max-width:999px){.stk-7c8f3ed {height:20px !important;}}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-7c8f3ed {height:20px !important;}}<\/style><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-columns alignwide stk-block-columns stk-block stk-4fee9e9 stk-block-background\" data-block-id=\"4fee9e9\"><style>.stk-4fee9e9 {background-color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;}.stk-4fee9e9:before{background-color:var(--stk-global-color-76216, #ffffff) !important;}<\/style><div class=\"stk-row stk-inner-blocks stk-block-content stk-content-align stk-4fee9e9-column alignwide\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-column stk-block-column stk-column stk-block stk-e2cab80\" data-v=\"4\" data-block-id=\"e2cab80\"><div class=\"stk-column-wrapper stk-block-column__content stk-container stk-e2cab80-container stk--no-background stk--no-padding\"><div class=\"stk-block-content stk-inner-blocks stk-e2cab80-inner-blocks\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-heading stk-block-heading stk-block-heading--v2 stk-block stk-5f99429\" id=\"span-style-color-var-stk-global-color-3756-d-25-c-33-class-stk-highlight-transcript-span\" data-block-id=\"5f99429\"><style>.stk-5f99429 .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.602rem !important;line-height:1.5rem !important;font-weight:600 !important;font-family:\"DM Serif Display\", Sans-serif !important;letter-spacing:1px !important;}@media screen and (max-width:999px){.stk-5f99429 .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.4rem !important;line-height:1.4em !important;}}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-5f99429 .stk-block-heading__text{font-size:1.2rem !important;}}<\/style><h3 class=\"stk-block-heading__text has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"color: var(--stk-global-color-3756, #d25c33);\" class=\"stk-highlight\">Transcript<\/span><\/h3><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-stackable-text stk-block-text stk-block stk-14819f5\" data-block-id=\"14819f5\"><style>.stk-14819f5 .stk-block-text__text{font-size:1rem !important;line-height:1.5em !important;font-family:\"inter\", Sans-serif !important;}@media screen and (max-width:999px){.stk-14819f5 .stk-block-text__text{font-size:0.937rem !important;line-height:1.4em !important;}}@media screen and (max-width:689px){.stk-14819f5 .stk-block-text__text{font-size:0.875rem !important;}}<\/style><p class=\"stk-block-text__text\">Hi Karisha. <br>Hi Makiko. <br>Welcome to Rays of Light and the fictional village of Sunnyside.<br>All of our episodes stand alone, so you can choose topics that interest you. <br>Or you can start at the beginning and see how the characters and village develop over time. <br><br>Virginia wakes up thinking about Richard, and even before brewing coffee, she checks her phone. She has eight text messages, and she feels an excited lifting sensation before she sees that none of them are from him, after which a flat disappointment fills her, and she grudgingly plods around the room, opening curtains and brushing by plants, as she reads what her family and friends in other time zones have sent while she was sleeping. <br><br>She sighs as she puts her phone down. She had hoped, and imagined, that Richard would write a message that would somehow fix everything. Knowing her neighbor will be arriving at any moment, Virginia starts the coffee, washes her face, and puts on shorts and a t-shirt. When the coffee is ready, she pours it into two mugs and takes it onto her back patio, where her neighbor Carole has just sat down. <br><br>\u201cThank you,\u201d Carole says, \u201cAnd here, I made bread that&#8217;s so high in protein even my son will eat it.\u201d Virginia takes a piece and bites into it. <br>\u201cThis is delicious. So Milton&#8217;s still obsessing about protein? I thought fiber was his new thing.\u201d<br>\u201cWell, he decided he was already getting plenty of fiber. Creatine&#8217;s the new thing, but I refused to use it in my baking after that one disastrous attempt.\u201d<br>\u201cHow&#8217;s Milton&#8217;s dating going?\u201d<br>\u201cVirginia, you would not believe, Milton&#8217;s using a matchmaker. He wants a serious relationship with someone who makes him as happy as Judy&#8217;s new husband makes her.\u201d<br><br>Judy is Milton&#8217;s ex-wife, and she visits Carole often, so Virginia knows all about this rather adorable second marriage. Both women sigh at the same time, then glance at each other and laugh.<br>\u201cI&#8217;ve heard matchmaker use is rising, and I think it&#8217;s a smart idea. I hope it works out for Milton. It&#8217;s gotta be hard to be around Judy and Neil, the way they look at each other.\u201d<br><br>Virginia regrets her words as she says them. She feels the distress as a hot, roiling sensation in her abdomen that soon fills her chest. She&#8217;s had that type of connection before, and she desperately wants it again. She wants it with Richard. Virginia is tempted to tell Carole her romantic woes, but she stops herself. Carole has disliked Richard ever since Virginia revealed that he never seemed to prioritize her the way he did other people and events.<br><br>When he canceled on her or was late, he always had good excuses that she believed were genuine, but she felt like it never went in the other direction. Over time, this has changed, and now Virginia knows that she&#8217;s an important priority to Richard. That&#8217;s one of the things that makes it hard to give up on him now.<br><br>\u201cWell, there&#8217;s hope for Milton,\u201d Carole says, startling Virginia out of her melancholy thoughts. <br>\u201cLook at you, 78 years old, and I know of at least two men who wish you were no longer with that dashing 65-year-old Richard.\u201d<br><br>Virginia tries hard not to smile. To Carole, dashing means a man who&#8217;s waving as many red flags as he can hold. And her neighbor also doesn&#8217;t approve of the age difference. Virginia nods, trying to think of a new subject. But all that comes to mind is a story Richard told her about his son, and she doesn&#8217;t want to talk about anything connected to Richard right now. She feels too wounded, while also being deeply annoyed with herself for caring so much. <br><br>Shouldn&#8217;t she be able to muster up all of her life experience, including a strong marriage of almost 40 years, in order to move on quickly? Or to at least see the situation with perspective, rather than having it fill her and weigh her down? <br><br>The night before, Virginia had Richard and his son Philip over for dinner. This was the third time in the nine months they&#8217;d been dating that Philip&#8217;s son had been in town enjoying them. As usual, Philip brought a dessert he&#8217;d made at his dad&#8217;s that he thought corresponded with the meal. This time it was a chocolate mousse cake to enjoy after the pasta with white sauce and cornbread.<br><br>\u201cThe dark richness will be a perfect contrast,\u201d Philip explained, \u201cAnd some of us can have coffee with it.\u201d<br>\u201cAs always,\u201d Richard said in response, \u201cNeither of you is getting the sleep you&#8217;d get if you stopped caffeine at 2pm. I&#8217;ll have some nice peach tea with mine.\u201d<br>\u201cGross,\u201d Virginia and Philip said together. <br><br>During dinner, Philip talked about the progress of the Marwood Retirement Village, which was being built by his construction company. I&#8217;m glad we&#8217;re finally able to start.<br>\u201cIt&#8217;s been years since we got the contract. There were so many legal issues, but I&#8217;m very happy with the plans for the houses. They&#8217;re going to be tiny, efficient, and beautiful.\u201d<br>\u201cMarwood&#8217;s an interesting name,\u201d Virginia said. \u201cIs that Mar as in ruined or damaged? I suppose it was probably someone&#8217;s surname.\u201d<br>\u201cI never thought about it,\u201d Philip admitted.<br><br>\u201cThere better not be anything wrong with this place,\u201d Richard said grumpily. That the houses were ridiculously expensive is an understatement.\u201d<br>\u201cEven if you trust the person overseeing the project?,\u201d Philip teased. <br>He explained to Virginia, \u201cThis retirement village has a built-in transition from independent living to assisted living. Anyone can move there at any time. There&#8217;s no age limitations or requirements. Although increased needs will lead to increased monthly costs, everything will remain the same price it was when they signed up. I&#8217;m not involved with that part, but it has affected how long it took to get everything organized so we could start work.\u201d<br><br>Virginia nodded, but she was feeling uneasy.<br>\u201cDid you buy a place there?\u201d She asked Richard tentatively. <br>\u201cI was one of the first,\u201d he said proudly. <br>\u201cYep, you and Nancy,\u201d Philip said, \u201cthe first two buyers.\u201d<br><br>Virginia felt as though her heart had dropped into her abdomen and was swelling up. She forced herself to take another bite of food, but chewing was so difficult that she surreptitiously whisked her plate off the table and into the kitchen, where she scraped the rest of her meal into her counter composter. She really wanted to ask more questions.<br><br>She had to ask more questions, but she could not. After their coffee is finished and Carole leaves, Virginia&#8217;s grateful she hasn&#8217;t given in to the very unusual desire to share her misery and tell Carole what she learned the night before. Surely Carole would insist Virginia call Richard and ask the questions she couldn&#8217;t get out yesterday, but she&#8217;s completely incapable of doing so due to fear over what she will be told.<br><br>And Philip couldn&#8217;t have meant Richard&#8217;s colleague, Nancy, who&#8217;s only about 50, has already bought into a retirement village. It must be another Nancy, maybe even a relative. When Virginia and Richard first started dating, they&#8217;d both been going out with others as well, and they&#8217;d spoken about this.<br><br>Nancy was one of the people Richard had mentioned. Over time, as their connection grew deeper, Virginia lost interest in seeing other men, but she and Richard had never discussed their relationship status. Richard has spoken often about desiring the retirement village life at some point, but he never mentioned already buying into one. She feels so stupid. No matter who Nancy is, Richard has serious plans for his future that he&#8217;s never shared with her. <br><br>M: So I want to pause here for a second because I think there is an interesting dynamic going on with Virginia. In the model we work with, there are two separate dimensions to how someone processes the world. One is how they take in information, and another how they behave in the world. <br><br>M: So Virginia takes in information more by inference. She reads between the lines, fills in the gaps, draws conclusions from what isn&#8217;t said as much as what is. And in terms of how she shows up in the world, she&#8217;s more relationship-oriented, and that means she&#8217;s particularly sensitive to a sense of rejection. <br><br>K: And those two things together make it really difficult when you&#8217;re taking in inferences, and you&#8217;re very prone to feeling rejected.<br><br>M: Yeah, exactly. So that&#8217;s what&#8217;s happening here. First, she hears the word Nancy, and immediately her mind goes to that Nancy, the woman Richard mentioned, seeing her casually from time to time. She has no confirmation that that is the Nancy that he had mentioned. It could be a relative, another colleague, or anyone. But her mind fills in the gap with the most threatening possibility because that&#8217;s what our subconscious does, to protect for the foreseen risks or deemed risks.<br><br>M: Then she concludes that Richard has made serious plans for his future, plans that don&#8217;t include her. That could be true, but there&#8217;s no evidence here. He hasn&#8217;t said that, but she has inferred it. And so every single one of these inferences lands in the part of her that is wired to feel rejection. And so then she can&#8217;t eat. She can&#8217;t form words. She can&#8217;t ask questions. And that&#8217;s how real this feels to her, even though the whole structure is built on assumptions that she&#8217;s never actually verified. <br><br>K: Yeah. And I just want to bring up something we&#8217;ve mentioned before, which is not everyone feels emotions in their body the way Virginia does. And since a number of our characters have, I just wanted to also include in our show notes some names and dates of three of our episodes with characters who do not. <br><br>Since hypnotherapy helped her in the past, Virginia considers using it again now. The year before, her daughters gave her six sessions with the hypnotherapist Luke Cantrell to help her get back to playing tennis. After recovering from a minor injury, she&#8217;d been too nervous about hurting herself again to do anything physical. <br><br>Virginia had been doubtful it would help, and she was embarrassed to ask her doctor for a medical referral for something as strange as hypnosis. But when, at her next appointment, the doctor was unhappy with her decline in strength, Virginia explained about her daughter&#8217;s gift. The doctor was enthusiastic and signed the release a few days after Virginia emailed it over. <br><br>By the time the first three sessions were completed, Virginia was back to playing tennis a few times a week, and she used the other sessions to promote better sleep and to boost her body&#8217;s ability to recover after exercise. She isn&#8217;t certain how Luke might help her out with this situation, but she has no one else to speak with about it. And she at least trusts him not to judge her for how irrational she&#8217;s being. <br><br>M: Yeah, when we are in emotional distress, the people closest to us, whether it be family members, friends, often can&#8217;t be truly objective because they&#8217;re tied to us emotionally. And Carole here is a good example of that. She&#8217;s already formed a rather negative opinion of Richard. And so having a therapist, or it doesn&#8217;t have to be a therapist, but someone who can remain objective as a third party, not as involved, can be incredibly valuable because they can stay neutral and help look at things or situations, what is or what may or may not be.<br><br>K: Yeah, because our friends and family are on our side. We&#8217;re all gung-ho about it and we&#8217;re not going to be able to look at things from a distance. <br><br>M: That\u2019s right.<br><br>Virginia starts her session with Luke by catching him up on her tennis game. Then she takes a deep breath and says, I just found out some things about this man I&#8217;ve been dating. She gives Luke the history of their relationship, including how Richard always tells her how meaningful their time together is.<br><br>\u201cBut,\u201d she admits, \u201cwe&#8217;ve never defined what we are to each other. To me, we&#8217;ve been becoming more connected and intimate every time we&#8217;re together. So while we were both dating others when we started, I stopped wanting to do so, and I just assumed he did too, even though I realize now how dumb that was.\u201d<br>\u201cIt&#8217;s very understandable, Luke says. <br><br>Virginia haltingly describes the retirement village conversation. She notices she has placed her left hand over her heart when Luke asks, \u201cDo you feel that in your chest?\u201d She shakes her head.<br>\u201cI feel it in my abdomen more.\u201d<br>\u201cCan you go into that area in your abdomen and focus on it for a moment? Tell me what you notice.\u201d <br>After a pause, Virginia says, \u201cIt&#8217;s gone now.\u201d<br>\u201cDo you feel it anywhere else?\u201d<br>\u201cIn my head?\u201d<br>\u201cHas it changed at all?\u201d<br>\u201cIt&#8217;s just these thoughts in my head. I need to know how he&#8217;s connected to Nancy and why. When he talked about retirement village living, he never mentioned that he had an actual plan that had been set in motion years ago. But asking him feels unbearable.\u201d<br>\u201cWhat do you think that means?\u201d<br>\u201cThen I&#8217;m afraid of what I&#8217;ll hear.\u201d<br><br>They sit in silence for a moment, and then Luke says, \u201cAre you suffering from not knowing?\u201d \u201cYes. Yes, I am. But I&#8217;m afraid. And I&#8217;m in love with him.\u201d<br>\u201cHave you told him that?\u201d<br>\u201cNo. It felt like we were moving toward it naturally. That&#8217;s how my other relationships have worked. Of course, with my husband, we were very young. But after he died 14 years ago, I had two other longest relationships that lasted until the men&#8217;s health began to fail. They both had children that moved them away. And then I dated casually until Richard. And I&#8217;m just so sad now. Deep down sad. I didn&#8217;t realize he&#8217;d become my reason for living. I know that sounds terrible. I have three wonderful daughters, three wonderful grandchildren, lots of friends, tennis, volunteering, concerts. But I&#8217;m always waiting to find out if he&#8217;s available. Always willing to move other people and skip events if I can be with him instead. It&#8217;s so pathetic and unhealthy. I don&#8217;t know why I&#8217;m being like this.\u201d<br><br>\u201cWere you imagining a future with him?\u201d<br>\u201cYes. He&#8217;s an investment manager, and I thought I&#8217;d travel with him when he had business trips.\u201d<br>\u201cHave you done that yet?\u201d<br>\u201cNo. I would have, but he hasn&#8217;t asked. I majored in economics, and I&#8217;ve remained interested in finance, so I keep up my reading on it. I&#8217;d really enjoy the conferences he goes to.\u201d<br><br>Luke nods. <br>\u201cThe retirement village isn&#8217;t even built yet, right?\u201d<br>\u201cRight. Should I ask when he plans to move there? Who Nancy is?\u201d<br>&#8220;Do you want to know?\u201d<br>\u201cNo.\u201d<br>\u201cWould it help to know?\u201d<br>\u201cSeems like I couldn&#8217;t feel worse, but then why am I so scared?\u201d<br>&#8220;Why do you think you&#8217;re so scared?\u201d<br>&#8220;Because I might have to give up hope. I might learn things that will make the relationship intolerable. This is only the second time in my life I&#8217;ve really fallen in love. I&#8217;m very much in love, and I just want to spend so much more time with him.\u201d<br><br>After a moment of silence, Virginia and Luke go over the questions she desires answers to the most, and she writes them down. Then they do hypnosis to help her feel calmer and more confident about having the conversation with Richard. <br><br>The next day, Virginia is uncertain about the success of the hypnosis, but as the week progresses, she remembers how it took a while before the results of her tennis and sleep sessions became apparent. <br><br>This is actually a great example of what we call the law of delayed action, especially for those who take in information by inference. So, Karisha, do you want to explain more on this? <br><br>K: Sure. So this has to do with when a person responds to the suggestions given to them in hypnosis. So one part of delayed action occurs with any type of person. Say if someone wants to change something coming up in the future, an example is the fear of public speaking, which is very common. A person might come in to prepare for a speech in a month, and although we work with them to desensitize anxiety and build confidence, which they&#8217;ll benefit from before the speech, the suggestions connected to giving the speech itself won&#8217;t take place until they&#8217;re actually speaking in a month. So that&#8217;s one form of it.<br><br>K: The other part is when working with those who take in information more inferentially, like Virginia, with them there might be a delayed action before they respond to the suggestions. So it could be a week, two weeks, sometimes even longer before certain people respond. <br><br>When Virginia meets with Richard to go to the movies later that week, she&#8217;s still not ready to have this serious conversation, but the next day at lunch it feels possible. <br>\u201cI knew you wanted to live in a retirement village someday, but I had no idea you had already purchased a place in one,\u201d she says as they eat their salads. Richard looks surprised. \u201cI was sure we&#8217;d talked about it before.\u201d<br>Virginia shakes her head. <br>\u201cI&#8217;d have remembered that.\u201d<br>\u201cIt did seem pretty distant when I bought into it, and it&#8217;ll be at least five years for the construction&#8217;s entirely finished. I don&#8217;t want to move in before I&#8217;m 70 anyway.\u201d<br><br>\u201cWho was the other person that was a first buyer?\u201d<br>\u201cAh, Nancy Euler, you met her.\u201d<br>\u201cRight, your colleague. She seems young for a retirement village.\u201d Virginia sounds amused, although her stomach feels like a concrete block. Richard nods.<br>\u201cShe&#8217;d just gone through a bad divorce when the opportunity arose. I suppose it felt comforting.\u201d<br>\u201cAre you still going out with her?\u201d Richard looks uncomfortable but nods again.<br>\u201cSometimes, yeah.\u201d<br>\u201cSo you&#8217;re both moving to Arizona in five years and settling down for the rest of your lives?\u201d<br>\u201cWell, yeah. I guess that&#8217;s the plan, I don&#8217;t know. We&#8217;ll see what happens.\u201d<br><br>&#8220;How do you feel about our relationship?\u201d Virginia asks. Richard makes eye contact.<br>\u201cIt&#8217;s very important to me. I enjoy being with you.\u201d They both stop eating. Virginia smiles faintly. <br>\u201cI&#8217;m afraid I was taking things more seriously than you,\u201d she says. Richard puts a hand on hers.<br>\u201cI care about you deeply.\u201d<br>&#8220;How serious is your relationship with Nancy?,\u201d she asks, feeling like she doesn&#8217;t have the real answer yet. <br>\u201cWell, I don&#8217;t know, really. She does see our future together, but we&#8217;re both free to do what we want now and maybe even later.\u201d <br><br>Virginia isn&#8217;t sure if she should tell him that she has imagined him moving from his apartment into her house, that she wanted to travel together and to have every evening to talk as late as they liked, then to sleep wrapped in each other&#8217;s arms, as they have on the few occasions where they spent the night together. Should she tell him how much she would enjoy the financial conferences he attends? But no, Nancy&#8217;s probably with those.<br><br>His younger age did make her feel safer about a future together after losing three men who were born within a year of her. But he isn&#8217;t very fit. Maybe he won&#8217;t even make it to the retirement village. And she&#8217;s 78 herself. Even with excellent health and fitness, anything can happen at 78. Should she live for the moment, letting things remain as they are? Isn&#8217;t this better than nothing? Aren&#8217;t people always saying the moment is all we have? They return to their food, and after a few minutes of silence, begin to speak of other things.<br><br>Virginia schedules another session and tells Luke about her conversation with Richard. <br>\u201cI don&#8217;t know if I should, or even could, just consider Richard a casual relationship and keep things as they are, or if it would be better for me to end it completely so I can move on. I&#8217;m really deeply in love with this man, which makes it so hard.\u201d<br>\u201cEnding or losing a relationship is a bereavement, Virginia. The grief can be intense. Be gentle with yourself. And if there&#8217;s any grief from your past that you might need to work through further, that could be adding to the emotions you&#8217;re experiencing now. Do you think that&#8217;s possible?\u201d Virginia stares into the distance for a while. <br>\u201cMaybe.\u201d<br><br>M: So grief is such an individual experience, naturally. It really varies enormously from person to person. We often hear about the classic stages, the denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance, but it doesn&#8217;t move through those in a nice, neat order.<br><br>M: Someone can cycle through them more than once, or get stuck in one or several for a very long time. In fact, way back when, I lost my best buddy. And it took me over a year for me to get over the loss. And his mom, in fact, never got over the loss, understandably. And she kind of followed him. She passed away shortly after losing her son.<br><br>And grief isn&#8217;t only about losing someone to death either. You know, the end of a relationship, losing a job, a serious falling out with someone close. This can all create that same profound sense of loss. So maybe, Karisha, you want to talk about what happens when that grief doesn&#8217;t get processed? <br><br>K: Processing grief is such a simple phrase for something that&#8217;s vastly hard. And like Makiko said, it can vary so much from person to person. Very simply, if we don&#8217;t let ourselves feel the pain, if we don&#8217;t speak about it, and if we fail to get help when needed, then when we go through future losses, they might end up piling on top of each other, creating a kind of dam that holds the pain in, so it never decreases or alters. We might end up living as though each loss just occurred, no matter how much time has passed. <br><br>M: Yeah, so as I reflect back my own experience of that major loss, if I had known hypnotherapy, or if I had someone who was willing to sit with my grief, then I might have been able to process the grief faster instead of taking over a year to get over it. But my friends, we were very young, and they didn&#8217;t know how to handle such a loss either. And so I felt totally alone in this grief. <br><br>K: That\u2019s terrible. That&#8217;s so sad. <br><br>M: And I didn&#8217;t have family at the time either, because I was in the U.S., and all my family was in Japan. <br><br>K: You had no support system. <br><br>Luke and Virginia discuss the loved ones she&#8217;s lost through death, and she says, <br>\u201cI still get a sense of stuckness. Is that a word? When I think of some of those that have died.<br>While with others, it&#8217;s more of a gentle sadness now, even though it felt unbearable at the time. And sometimes I just feel a passing pain at missing them. But that&#8217;s a settled and stable part of me, if that makes sense.\u201d They discuss the grief that might be stuck, and that&#8217;s what they focus on in hypnosis that day. <br>At her next session, Virginia returns to the topic of Richard, telling Luke, \u201cI haven&#8217;t stopped doing things with Richard, but I feel so stupid for imagining a future with him when he was planning his retirement with someone else all along.\u201d<br>\u201cAre you sure they&#8217;re retiring together? They bought different houses, didn&#8217;t they?\u201d Virginia sighs.<br>\u201cYes, it&#8217;s not clear what it means.\u201d<br>\u201cSo he&#8217;s not giving you definitive answers when you ask?\u201d<br>&#8220;He&#8217;s pretty vague.\u201d<br><br>\u201cWhen you spend time with him now, what&#8217;s that like?\u201d<br>&#8220;Well, it&#8217;s nice when we&#8217;re together, but otherwise I feel insecure, sad, worried. It was different before. I was excited about our future, and our relationship was progressing and deepening.\u201d<br>\u201cIt seems like you&#8217;re really suffering, Virginia.\u201d<br>\u201cI guess I am. I put too much onto this relationship. It was a distraction from what&#8217;s going on in the world and from the people I&#8217;ve lost and from the inevitability of death, or that&#8217;s what I&#8217;ve been telling myself. It could just be that I fell in love with someone who doesn&#8217;t love me back. Or maybe it&#8217;s all of those things.\u201d<br>\u201cDo you want to talk to him about this more, or are you ready to move on?\u201d<br>After a pause, Virginia says, \u201cMaybe I&#8217;m ready to move on. I want to rebuild my sense of self as an individual outside of this relationship. But that doesn&#8217;t mean I want to end all contact.\u201d <br><br>Luke asks, \u201cWhat might future interactions with him look like then?\u201d<br>\u201cI keep going back and forth on that. I know the most effective thing to do is to end things with him entirely. That&#8217;s what all the advice says. But then I remember fun plans we had and certain things I only talked to him about, and I just don&#8217;t want to. What I&#8217;d really love is to be able to see him as a casual relationship. Am I asking too much?\u201d<br><br>\u201cHe&#8217;s dating other people, but you haven&#8217;t been, right?\u201d<br>\u201cRight,\u201d Virginia says. \u201cSo I could start dating again also. I think I&#8217;d have to in order to stop focusing so much on him.\u201d<br>\u201cAnd it might be fun, right?\u201d Luke asks. <br>\u201cIf I can&#8217;t have what I really want, well, I&#8217;m certainly not having fun sitting around yearning and hoping and imagining. So yeah, I suppose it&#8217;ll be comparatively fun.\u201d<br>Luke smiles. \u201cSuch enthusiasm.\u201d<br>Virginia laughs. <br>\u201cBased on what you said you want,\u201d he continues, \u201cenlarging your focus might be useful. Let&#8217;s include your wonderful family and friends in that, as well as the activities you love.\u201d<br><br>They talk a little more about some specific hobbies and friend groups. And then Virginia asks, \u201cAm I just avoiding the ultimate outcome? Extending the torture? Or am I letting myself down more easily?\u201d<br>\u201cWhat do you think?\u201d Luke says. <br>\u201cI keep going back and forth between wanting him excised from my soul and wanting to keep the good things that I don&#8217;t have with anyone else. Let&#8217;s give this a try. And if it doesn&#8217;t work, I&#8217;ll go with the other option.\u201d<br>\u201cAnd by this, you mean you want to see if you can accept what he&#8217;s able to offer without yearning for more?\u201d<br>\u201cYes.\u201d<br><br>M: Another tool we often use with people who are particularly sensitive to the sense of rejection is something we call rejection-proofing. The idea is to build up a kind of inner foundation, a genuine sense of self-acceptance, self-appreciation, and self-approval so that your sense of worth isn&#8217;t dependent on how others respond to you. Not everyone will like us, and that&#8217;s just a reality.<br><br>M: And when you can remind yourself not to take things so personally, and you have that solid relationship with yourself, then other people&#8217;s reactions lose some of their power over you. And interestingly, the more rejection-proof you become, the more freely you can take risks in life, in relationships, in work, in anything because the fear of rejection is no longer holding you back. <br><br>At first, Virginia continues on as usual, waiting to hear from Richard, waiting for the times they&#8217;re together, and feeling sad about the work trips he never invites her on. Then, after listening to her last recording daily for nearly a week and a half, she notices that she has scheduled brunch with friends at a time she usually considers sacrosanct, as Richard is often available then. She feels very nervous about this and almost cancels on her friends, but she doesn&#8217;t. For a while, she still looks forward to her times with Richard more than anything else.<br><br>But as the weeks pass, other people and activities move up in importance, and her life becomes more balanced. More importantly, her thoughts and emotions feel more balanced. She goes on dates with two other men in her social circle, and those are surprisingly enjoyable. The once poignant feeling of loss she had when she remembered her fantasies for the future, for the rest of her life even, fades to a brief wistfulness that occurs less and less. She sends Luke a handwritten thank you card, as she did after their first series of sessions. <br><br>Then, one morning over coffee, she tells her neighbor Carole the whole story.<br>\u201cYou hid it so well,\u201d Carole says. <br>\u201cI had no idea what you were going through. Of course, I know why you couldn&#8217;t tell me. I was already too judgmental about him.\u201d<br>\u201cWell, I guess you were right,\u201d Virginia says. <br>\u201cI was only going off what you said.\u201d<br>&#8220;I know, I just cared too much.\u201d<br>\u201cBut that&#8217;s one of the things that makes you so wonderful,\u201d Carole says. And even though this is a completely meaningless, irrational statement, Virginia laughs instead of arguing, feeling at peace with her world.<br><br>Thank you for joining us in Sunnyside. <br><br>Is there a topic or character type that you&#8217;d like us to focus on? Please let us know using the contact information in the show notes. <br><br>Thank you to High Street Jack for our theme song.<br><br>And thank you to Makiko for doing all of our post-production work. <br><br>And thank you, Karisha, for writing our stories.<br><br><\/p><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" data-block-type=\"core\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Virginia Dartagnan is in love with a man who may not feel the same way. When she discovers he has been making major life plans without her, she is faced with questions she is almost too afraid to ask. What happens when the story you&#8217;ve built in your mind collides with reality?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":3378,"template":"","class_list":["post-3377","podcast_episode","type-podcast_episode","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"blocksy_meta":{"has_hero_section":"enabled","hero_elements":[{"id":"custom_title","enabled":false,"heading_tag":"h1","title":"\u30db\u30fc\u30e0","__id":"FQGoUqrGr4eQEkQN_pb5o"},{"id":"custom_description","enabled":false,"description_visibility":{"desktop":true,"tablet":true,"mobile":false},"__id":"QBv7mzRyrdu1s_9CMGjpJ"},{"id":"custom_meta","enabled":false,"meta_elements":[{"id":"author","enabled":true,"label":"By","has_author_avatar":"yes","avatar_size":25},{"id":"post_date","enabled":true,"label":"On","date_format_source":"default","date_format":"M j, Y"},{"id":"updated_date","enabled":false,"label":"On","date_format_source":"default","date_format":"M j, Y"},{"id":"categories","enabled":true,"label":"\u30ab\u30c6\u30b4\u30ea\u30fc","style":"simple"},{"id":"comments","enabled":true}],"page_meta_elements":{"joined":true,"articles_count":true,"comments":true},"__id":"3c3unHdFDfFhwsVPbYigM"},{"id":"breadcrumbs","enabled":false,"__id":"9BzynYdcHJgCT0mMlNtMu"}],"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"[data-prefix=\"podcast_episode_single\"] .entry-header .page-title {--theme-font-size:30px;} [data-prefix=\"podcast_episode_single\"] .entry-header .entry-meta {--theme-font-weight:600;--theme-text-transform:uppercase;--theme-font-size:12px;--theme-line-height:1.3;}","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":{"Inter":["n4","n6"]},"version":6}},"yoast_head":"\n<title>When Love Feels One-Sided: Fear of Rejection in Relationships | Hypnospark<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When love feels uncertain, does your mind fill in the blanks with your worst fears? 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