In the latest episode of Rays of Light, we explored a challenge many people silently struggle with: lying in bed exhausted, yet unable to sleep.
We followed Gwen Poulin as she navigated deep stress when her business partner suddenly decided to leave their beloved café — and we talked about how stress can hijack sleep, even when your habits are good.
If you haven’t listened yet, you can find the episode here.
It’s past midnight.
The room is dark and still — but your mind isn’t.
You replay conversations, worries, unfinished tasks.You shift your pillow, breathe slower, try to think of something calming… but your brain keeps going.
And here’s the part no one tells us:
Sometimes, sleeplessness isn’t about what you’re doing.
It’s about the state your nervous system is in.
You can dim the lights, avoid screens, drink calming tea — but if your mind is still in alert mode, sleep won’t happen.
When Your Mind Won’t Switch Off
At night, your brain can get stuck in loops like:
These patterns can make even the best bedtime habits feel ineffective.
The first step to better sleep isn’t doing more.
It’s shifting your state — from alert → to safe → to rest.
Tips That Actually Work for Better, Restful Sleep
Over the years, I’ve realized that sleep isn’t just about following routines or “doing everything right.” Sometimes, it’s about giving your mind and body permission to let go. Here are some practical tools that can help calm your nervous system and guide you into a more restful night:
1. Slow, Rhythmic Breathing
Begin by settling your body. Slow, gentle breaths signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax, helping shift from “alert mode” to a calmer state. Make your exhales slightly longer than your inhales—this extended release helps activate the parasympathetic response and promotes deeper relaxation, preparing both body and mind for restful sleep.
2. Gentle Movement or Stretches
If your body feels tense, a few minutes of light stretching or yoga can release physical tension that might keep you awake. Keep it soft and soothing rather than energizing..
3. Positive Reflection, Journaling, or Affirmation
Before you fully settle under the covers, take a moment for a gentle mental shift. You might write a few positive thoughts or reflections in a journal, or write an affirmation in the present tense about a goal or quality you want to embody—stated as if it’s already realized. The key is to focus on something uplifting and positive, rather than revisiting challenges or worries. This helps your mind leave the day behind and move toward a calmer state.
4. Comfort and Calm for Sleep
Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, dim the lights, and create a sense of comfort around your body. Dimmed lighting mimics the natural sunset, signaling to your body that it’s time to wind down. A safe, warm, and calm environment supports your mind in releasing daytime stress, helping you settle more easily into sleep.
5. Gentle Narratives or Soundscapes
Stories and soundscapes that are calming rather than stimulating can help your mind focus softly, gently shifting attention away from overthinking loops. I personally enjoy podcasts like Nothing Much Happens, where the narrative encourages soft focus. You might also try soundscapes from apps like Brain.fm, which are designed using neuroscience principles to help your brain settle into a sleep-ready state.
6. Optional Sleep Device – Muse S Headband
I occasionally use the Muse S headband, a meditation device that also has a sleep mode, including functions like DSP (Digital Sleeping Pill) to help you fall and stay asleep. At first, the fade-in and fade-out of the audio was distracting for me, but after a few nights my brain adjusted.
Since it continuously uses Bluetooth (there’s no in-flight mode), I use it sparingly. The device also provides lab-grade sleep analysis, tracking brainwaves and sleep stages like deep sleep and REM with high accuracy.
How Hypnotherapy Helps the Mind Relax
When stress, worry, or constant responsibility keep you on high alert for a prolonged period of time, your nervous system can get stuck in “go mode.” That’s the sympathetic state — the fight-or-flight response.
It’s like a hamster on a wheel — running, running, running… and eventually getting stuck, not knowing how to get off.
When your nervous system has been in that “always on” state for a long time, the body forgets how to shift into relaxation. Even when you want to rest, the mind doesn’t know how to stop.
That’s where hypnotherapy becomes powerful.
Hypnosis breaks the cycle on two levels: mind + nervous system.
1. Hypnosis guides the mind into deep relaxation
The hypnotic state isn’t something foreign or forced — it’s a natural state you already pass through every night, just before you fall asleep. That’s why it feels deeply relaxing; your body and mind recognize it as the transition into rest.
2. Hypnosis opens the door to the subconscious
As your mind shifts from alertness into the hypnotic state, your conscious thinking begins to quiet. In this moment, the “filter” between the conscious and subconscious softens — allowing helpful suggestions to reach the deeper part of the mind where automatic responses and emotional reactions live.
3. Hypnotherapy rewires associations and emotional patterns
Chronic sleep struggle often creates subconscious associations like “bed = frustration, anxiety, or hours of being awake.” Even sunset can become a trigger if your body has learned to expect restlessness or discomfort at night.
Through hypnotherapy, it is possible to break those old associations and build new ones — shifting the meaning of bedtime from threat or dread to comfort, safety, and rest.
4. Hypnotherapy trains your mind to access relaxation on cue
With repetition — through sessions and listening to session recordings — your brain learns a familiar pathway into calm. Over time, your bedtime ritual itself becomes the cue: dim lights = relax, soft bedding = safety, getting into bed = time to let go.
Instead of hoping for sleep, your mind starts recognizing the pattern and naturally shifts into relaxation.
My Personal Experience With Hypnotherapy and Relearning How to Sleep
How Hypnotherapy Helped
I will be honest:
hypnotherapy didn’t magically heal my insomnia — because in my case, insomnia wasn’t a mindset issue. It was the result of severe physical symptoms.
When your body is in distress — inflammation, irritation, discomfort with every tiny movement — sleep becomes almost impossible. For several years, my nights were filled with physical agony. And over time, something unexpected happened:
I developed fear of the night.
Every sunset felt like a countdown to suffering. As the sky darkened, the anxiety rose — because I knew what was coming: hours in the dark, unable to sleep, trapped with symptoms I couldn’t escape.
Before 2016, I could sleep anywhere and anytime — on a plane, in hotel rooms, in unfamiliar environments. Sleep was effortless. It was something I never had to think about.
But after months of insomnia, I formed negative subconscious associations:
Even when my physical symptoms improved later, the insomnia remained. My body had recovered enough to sleep… but my subconscious still believed that nighttime meant threat. That’s where hypnotherapy became essential — not to “put me to sleep,” but to help me rewire the emotional patterns around sleep.
Hypnotherapy helped me:
What I Learned About Sleep
Even today, I still have flare-ups of physical symptoms occasionally, so my sleep isn’t always perfect. Some nights I still wake up, or take longer to fall asleep.
But the difference is this:
Gentle Reminder
Sleep isn’t always perfect, and that’s okay. What matters is having tools, awareness, and gentle practices to guide your mind and body back to calm. With patience, self-compassion, and support — whether through bedtime rituals, breathing, gentle movement, soundscapes, or hypnotherapy — restful sleep becomes possible again, even on the hardest nights.